exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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