so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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