Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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