just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
