just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize