can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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