wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
