omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize