Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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