: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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