Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
