woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize