so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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