I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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