The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
