After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize