Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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