I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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