the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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