think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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