whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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