Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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