We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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