Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
