ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
