Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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