I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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