It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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