Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm at about main and main street
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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