So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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