first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
