You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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