Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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