so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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