i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize