So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
