you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize