their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
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Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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