Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I know her cup size but not her name....
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