ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud