I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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