Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
