I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
