Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
sarcasm needs its own font
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
