This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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