My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
