so that wasnt chicken after all
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
