You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
