How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My hand turned me down
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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