i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
