mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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