well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
