yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
