Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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