No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
