Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
