So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Damn victory sex feels great
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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