just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
