I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
