so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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