it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
