who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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